Other worldly.

When you can't have your world...

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find another.

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And learn to love it.

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Find the wonder in simple things...

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As well as some big things...

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and the things that they do...

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Enjoy the irony of the things you discover...

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All of the things.

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.Don't be afraid to face it...
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And immerse yourself completely...
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Try harder...

Twenty-four hours to start. Fifteen and a half down. Way too much to go. First report clear... second report... extension by two hours, with more to come. They never gave rules... not complete ones. They'd give rules in prisons...

This thing is impossible! I sat by the water for ages... shins, feet, legs dangling in it's gentle current. Tiny ripples collided with this slick black skin, droplets splashed up on me... on it, I could have sworn beneath the waving liquid I even saw creatures... inspecting the foreign intrusion... and maybe it was all mental but I couldn't feel a thing. This isn't my skin. I don't belong here. This doesn't suit me. I'm a busy person... always occupied in some way... with others... alone. Can't speak, can't shop, can't explore as I awish, can't observe, can't . . . create. That kills me. It seems with the lack of ability to create, I am suddenly flooded with ideas of things to create! I can only beg my mind to fight this... and maybe remember all my ideas for when I am free. They call this free... disgusting.

I ran today... as fast as I could... as far as I could.... as hard as I could. Feet pounding against earth; grass, rock, dirt... and I did it with a passion. The helmet doesn't know passion, not even simple passion... running. It punished me for it! For running! For being alone, bothering no one, saying nothing, staying away from everything but nature... and running! It yelled! Told me I can't act aggressively! Passion and aggression... sure a fine line a stupid machine can't comprehend. When I'm out of here, when this . . . thing, is out of my skull, I want to smash it. I want to show it aggression! This is supposed to calm me... teach me to be a peaceful being? How can something without a feeling wire in it's workings teach someone peace? It's wicked.

Not her though. She's been a blessing... each and every sight of her is a thin glimpse at familiarity... at life. Makes one appriciate the little things...

Words defeat the subtly...

J-7840 - Full Protocals Initiated...

Murdered. Judged. Punished. Stripped. Bare. Nude. Cut. Shaved. Restrained. Needles. Fibers. Itching. Intrusions. Latex. Suffocation. Rules. Restrictions. Muted. Deafened. Silenced. Banished... Freed?
I am bane.

At least for now.

Boy, she lost her tongue quickly.

I've high hopes of a timely release, but unsure expectations. - Why does one question so much... when there is nothing to do to question? With every passing minute I find myself questioning this suit. It's so quiet... not as I expected. Please tell me it's functioning and not just coating my in it's tight rubberey embrace, laying dormant... I'd rather be under the thumb of a machine, than imagining I am.

I am still receiving IMs... at least from groups. I hope I am not punished for those - I thought they were blocked. Again I question this suit. - I'm not answering, simply staring at inquires I KNOW I have the knowledge to answer... and letting my knowledge sit unused... I cannot say it sits well with me. For once I ask myself, what choice do I have? For once, none. And voluntarily...? I have my reasons.

I have not yet seen anyone, friend or foe, past the last shrinking glimpse of my operator... and that woman standing with her. No coffee this time. No snacks. No name. How unfeeling, detached, and disinterested they were as my body and mind were processed and prepared for this... Button pushers behind a vast blinding wall. Prisoner do this, prisoner do that. I nodded, they answered, I know they could see me. They did nothing when they saw agony set it. Merely whispered how well was doing as my body wretched in pain and tears welled up in my ever fading gaze. Just keep breathing... you're fine... I could here them laughing, joking, finding amusement at my expense. Of course she released me when I was done... or, more correctly, when it as done with me. Gave me a metaphorical pat on the back and shoved me out the door. After all that... well what the hell do I do now? They did this to me... she did this to me... So much better than prison... yeah, sure. I'd rather drop the soap, personally speaking. They didn't care.

I kind of miss them.

Who's bright idea was this anyway?

The Waiting Game.

Kelley Technologies, Inc. The Banishment Program. Banishment. Banesuit. Being Bane. Eudeamon? There are many reasons one might want to partake in all of this madness... willingly. I imagine mine is not like many others, though I also imagine it could be. We'll see. But I have no Mistress, no Master commanding me to do this, safe for myself. I have no spiritual journey of self exploration I wish to jumpstart. I have no drama, that I crave a forced break from. I am not a latex fetishist dying to try the latest kink. I am not looking to do what everyone else is finding so painfully pleasant. I have broken no laws and seek the non-celled way out. I am not crazy. I am however, a leader, a lover, a social butterfly, a woman, a Mistress, a sister, a friend, a Goddess, a teacher, a free spirit, and a human being.

I am not Bane...

I don't even really want this, but I am doing it willingly for my own reasons. In a sense, volunteering myself against my own will.

Still... without craving that which plagues most others I see... I find myself waiting with a strange anxiousness to begin this experience. A sick curiosity. I know I will hate it. I know I will be bored to tears. I know I will miss my life. I know I will look at what I could be having... doing... experiencing with a sad longing. I know I will want out, the minute I am in... Still... I am anxious.

I'm going in with an open mind... I'm not ruling out any reactions or feeling I may get... but I am not expecting them.

I have my reasons... and maybe one day will share them.

I know I won't like this...

I don't think I'm going to like this....

I'm anxious...